


A Mind Can Bleed a Heart to Death

by Sillydreamer



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Eventual SQ, F/F, Gen, General, Post-Episode: s03e11 Going Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sillydreamer/pseuds/Sillydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 3.11 "Going Home" AU.<br/>Upon returning to the Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Prince Charming remember having a child and putting her in a tree to save her and they remember Regina enacted a curse but do not remember the years spent under it.  </p><p>General, eventual SwanQueen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before 3B and I left it for a while. It's been years since I've posted fanfic and I don't use a beta, so mistakes are mine and constructive criticism is very welcome.
> 
>  **Trigger-warning:** self-injurious behavior (mild, chapter 2)

This time, Regina didn't mind the cell. She imagined it was like losing your sense of smell, and subsequently your appetite for foods you once loved. Without smell, an apple may taste no different from a raw potato; without Henry, it didn't matter where she survived each day, as she was no longer really alive.

The pain, the anger, it was all so much worse than with Daniel. This time, there was no target of her fury, except herself. This was the price of her anger. It had been close to a year since they had been sent back and eleven months since Regina was imprisoned with nothing but her memories and her regret. 

* * *

"Regina?" Snow's warm voice pricked every hair on the back of her neck. Her eyes fell on Snow turning the corner to her cell. Regina had begged her months ago to just kill her, but the Charmings had refused. Instead, Snow was the one who brought her meals and sat with her while she ate. 

Snow was pregnant with her second child and her impending maternity, or perhaps the second loss of her firstborn, had seemingly left her longing for a relationship with her step-mother. If the end of the curse and the loss of her family was not enough, having Snow's attention certainly should have pushed her over the edge.

"I have your dinner." She gently pushed the tray between the bars, the soup sloshing over the sides of the wooden bowl and onto the dirt floor anyway. Regina sighed but reached forward to the cup of tea she was being offered.

She sipped at it immediately, though it burned her tongue and the roof of her mouth. Snow, oblivious to her discomfort and dissatisfaction, sat down in the small wooden chair on the other side of the bars, smiling.

Her eyes fell to the abandoned soup and bread on the ground. "While you are eating, I was hoping we c--"

"I'm not hungry," she interrupted. "You may go."

"You haven't eaten in days, Regina."

"Really, days? It is so considerate of you to keep track of my dining habits. You and _Charming_ really go above and beyond for your prisoners." Regina kicked the edge of the tray with her toe, knocking the rest of the soup from the bowl and coating the bread with dust. She raised her eyes to Snow's, sneering. "Is there something more, dear?"

"No, I guess not."

"Then get out of my sight."

* * *

Snow sat in the chair, silently reading. Regina lay still on her mattress of straw, stared at the wall and pretended to not know she was there. 

* * *

"Will you tell me about Emma?"

Regina was lying on her back. She had counted the stones in the ceiling four times over since Snow had started to come and sit by her cell. Today was the first time she'd spoken to Regina since Regina stopped eating. Today was the first time Regina acknowledged her presence by looking at her. A darkness washed over her face at Snow's hopeful expression.

"Why?"

"She's my daughter. If you really have a son, you should understand."

She sat up, gingerly. The head rush was immediate and she reached for the tea Snow had brought in and left on the floor beside her. It had long gone cold, but it was something she could hold in her hands.

"What do you want to know?"

" _Everything_ ," Snow gushed. "What does she look like? What is her life like? Is she happy? Does she remember me? Does she know that I love her?"

Regina's heart clenched. She knew she would ask the same questions about Henry if the roles were reversed. In retrospect, she hadn't needed to curse an entire population to hurt Snow; she had only had to take her daughter away and leave her wondering what could have been.

She put the teacup back on the floor and stood, walking slowly over to the bars that separated them. She gripped the metal in fists and sneered. She opened her mouth to tell her that Snow didn't exist for Emma and never would. But the cuff on her wrist reminded her why she was there and why Snow was asking such questions.

Instead, she lowered her eyes, turned, and walked until she was swallowed by the shadows of her cell. She could feel Snow's eyes boring into the back of her head, hopeful for anything. 

"Please leave."

Regina didn't move until she heard the soft footfalls of Snow walking away.


	2. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Henry come to the Enchanted Forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assume Emma took the potion, as in canon, and remembers everything, but there is no new curse. Instead of Storybrooke, they end up in the Enchanted Forest.
> 
> Trigger-warning: self-injurious behavior (mild)

It was raining. Regina could smell the dirt and the mud through the tiny window grate above the bed. She closed her eyes, imagining the drops on her face and hair, blurring her vision as the water clung to her eyelashes. She imagined being drenched, her clothes soaked through, shivering. She remembered how Henry had loved the rain. She had scolded him on more than one occasion for splashing in the puddles. Even with his rain boots, he always got his clothes covered with mud. She could see him at five or six, grinning, drawing a smile from her even when she was trying to reprimand him.

She turned to Snow. "Are you ever going to let me out of here?"

Snow closed the book on her lap, her fingers a bookmark. "David doesn't trust you. Especially with the baby coming."

Regina leaned forward, "But you do."

"Something is different about you." Snow smoothed her hands over the book in her lap, losing her place. "I don't know if I believe your story and I wouldn't say I _trust_ you, but I'm trying." 

* * *

Another month, maybe? The rain had turned to snow, to ice. The sliver of sky she could see was a permanent grey. The cell was chilly and Snow brought her extra blankets that she wrapped around her like a cocoon. Even so, she was never warm and always tired.

She thought about dying. It would be inevitable soon. She was eating less and less: a piece of bread, a few spoonfuls of soup. It was all tasteless, colorless, empty. It felt pointless to survive in a world without her family and without her freedom. 

Snow still came daily, but they sat in silence since Regina had ignored her plea for stories about Emma. Snow just sat and read, while Regina watched or didn't. Sometimes she waited for Snow just so she could fall asleep. It was easier to sleep knowing that she wasn't alone, even if the person visiting was the person who had put her there.

Other times, she thought about what Snow would do when she was gone. She assumed, by that point, the baby would be born and she would be preoccupied with being its mother. She imagined her with the baby, regaling it with stories of her and Charming defeating the evil queen, some two-dimensional portrait of her as violent and irrational. The real Regina would fade from the world, a story that no one told. Emma and Henry would fade with her, no one from this world remembering who they actually were.

It was this thought, this idea that her son would disappear from this world, that made her decide it was time to give Snow what she wanted.

"Emma..." She started, her voice no more than a whisper. Snow's head jerked up and her eyes flashed.

"What did you say?"

Regina cleared her throat. "You were friends, long before you knew you were mother and daughter." She paused, waiting for some response from Snow, but Snow was silent, leaning closer to the bars that separated them. Regina took a deep breath and continued.

* * *

Snow had her eyes closed and was leaning against the bars. She no longer brought books, and instead pulled her chair as close to the cell as possible to hear Regina's stories of her daughter, of her family, slaying dragons, vanquishing a wraith, and saving a little cursed town named Storybrooke. 

Regina had just finished telling her how Emma had jumped off a pirate ship to get them all to get along to rescue her and Emma's son. Snow hadn't appreciated that part about them sharing a son, her _grandson_. When they had returned to the Enchanted Forest and found that only Regina could remember the details of the original curse, Regina had talked about Henry being _hers_ , and Emma being _theirs_ , but never about _their_ Emma sharing a son with the Evil Queen, something that Snow still did not understand.

"Did we save him, this Henry?"

"Yes," she whispered, hesitantly, "we saved him."

"And you say he's with Emma?"

"Yes."

Snow sat back to look Regina in the eyes. "Then at least they aren't alone."

* * *

She expected more, maybe some fanfare, and no less than her mother and father running to greet her. But there was nothing. Henry held her hand tightly, looking like a young man, but more fearful than the boy she had met years ago.

"Kid, lighten up." She shook his hand gently. He loosened his grip, only slightly, and stared at her.

"Am I dreaming? I feel like I'm dreaming." Her murmured. "I thought those were just fairy tales..."

"Not a dream, kid. Just trust me, okay?" Emma looked around. "Where is everyone?"

Hook stopped and turned to them. "They don't remember you. Either of you."

"I _know_ people who live in a castle?" Henry asked, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"Yes, lad." Killian bent before him. "You know kings and queens. Your mother is a princess and you, you are a prince." He looked up at her and winked. "Don't think on it too much, Henry. Your memory will come."

"How do you remember us, if they don't?"

"I told you, love, I wouldn't forget." He smirked. "I remember all of it. The only one here who knows you is Regina."

"Who is Regina?" Henry asked. "She's not in the book." 

"I'm sure your mother will answer all your questions later, but just know that Regina may not see you, and you may not see her, lest we..." Killian paused. "Well, I don't know what would happen, but I assure you, it would not be good."

"Is she evil or something?"

"Or something," Killian smiled.

Emma squeezed his hand. "Reformed might be a better word."

"This is ridiculous!" Henry exclaimed. "Yesterday, I was worrying about my math test. Today, I'm in a literal fairy tale."

Emma stopped walking and knelt before him. "Hey, do you trust me?"

He nodded.  
"I know this is hard to believe and I know it was just sprung on you, but you have to trust that this is where we belong." He still looked skeptical. "Give me a week. Think of it as a vacation in a _really_... elaborate... Disney... _thing_."

"How eloquent." Killian nodded towards the castle. "Any chance we can get on with it?"

Emma stood and they resumed walking. The castle was just ahead, across a small valley. "What do you suggest we do when we get there? Just go in there and introduce ourselves? 'Hey, I know you don't remember me, but I'm your long-lost daughter that you gave up thirty years ago.'"

Hook shrugged. "I don't see why not. They know you exist, Emma, they just don't remember you."

Henry squeezed her hand again and she sighed, "Great."

* * *

"I don't understand why you are doing this to yourself, Regina." Snow placed a goblet to her cracked lips. "Here. Drink."

Regina, feebly, tried to push the goblet from her mouth, but fell back, tired from the failed exertion. She didn't realize how difficult it would be to starve herself.

She closed her eyes. The straw of the mattress poked painfully at her already raw, dry skin. She shifted, but the annoyance wouldn't yield. Snow pulled another blanket over her and tucked it around her knees.

"Won't you just let me die? I've told you about Emma." She whispered. "What is left?"

Snow stared at her a long moment. For years, she had outrun her, been afraid of her, hated her, and, once, loved her. Now, as Regina implied, there was nothing left.

"If... If it makes any difference, I've forgiven you."

Regina opened her eyes to meet Snow's. "Oh, yes, thank you. What I have been waiting for. Now I must live." Her words were cold and dry.

Snow's eyes widened, "Really?"

She turned to face the stone wall, that damn piece of straw still sticking her, and scoffed. "No."

* * *

The great hall of the castle was silent. They stood together, hand in hand, Emma's shaking and Henry's crushing, in the center of the mostly empty room. Her heart was thudding in her ears. 

"Do you think I will remember when I see them?" Henry whispered.

"I don't know what to think." She whispered back, leaning closer to him. There were voices now, coming closer. "Why are we whispering?"

Henry looked up at her and opened his mouth, but just shrugged and moved closer to her. His head whipped around as the voices entered the room, a booming laugh echoing across the empty space.

"Now, who do we have here?" David's eyes sparkled with warmth as he greeted them with a small head nod and a smile. Snow stood next to him, holding his arm in hers. She bent with him, but righted herself more quickly, her eyes washing over both her and Henry curiously.

"My name is Emma Swan and this is--"

Snow gasped. "Emma!"

"You remember?" 

Snow tilted her head and looked upon them sadly. "I'm sorry, no, but Regina told me of an Emma and her son, Henry, and I wonder if it might be you."

David turned to Snow. "You've been talking with her? She's been convincing you of her lies?"

"David..."

"No! You can't believe her." He pulled away and turned to face her.

"She's exactly like Regina described. They both are." 

Emma cleared her throat. "Look, we know you don't remember, but I am your daughter. When I was born, you wrapped me in a blanket with my name on it." She let go of Henry's hand and reached into Henry's backpack. " _This_ blanket."

Snow took the blanket and ran her hands over the embroidery of Emma's name. She held it up to David. "Don't you remember this? I made a terrible knitter."

"How do we know this isn't one of her tricks, too?" David asked, his voice softening.

"Regina never saw her when she was born. She wouldn't know about the blanket, David." Snow responded, gently. She was already moving towards Emma when she started speaking. There were tears in her eyes and her voice was thick, "This is our daughter." She laughed, tears now falling freely, and she pulled Emma into a tight hug. "Welcome home."


	3. THREE

Henry quickly settled in. In the mornings, after breakfast, David would take him to the stables. he learned to brush and tack the horses and feed them from his hand. His favorite, a black stallion appropriately named Black Beauty, would sniff at his pockets for carrots and apples.

In the afternoons, Snow showed him how to hold a bow and arrow. He had shot a few times, but hit the inside of his arm with the bow and completely missed the target. "It's okay. Like anything else, you'll just have to practice," she smiled, rubbing some salve on the inside of his arm.

If these were really, as Emma believed, his grandparents, they were pretty cool and he was enjoying this 'vacation' a lot more than any of his lessons at school.

* * *

The winter was fading quickly. Snow only came in the mornings and stayed for shorter periods of time. She was lively and warm, more like Mary Margaret than Snow, and she focused her energy on getting Regina to eat. She brought her proper meals now, meats and cheeses and fruits, rich juices of herbs and finely powdered grains. She ate sparingly, didn't speak, and barely moved. If this was to be her life, this cell, she didn't want any part of it.

* * *

In the evening, Henry and Emma sat by the fire in the library. She was different here, more stoic, more contemplative. He watched her quietly read from some old, dusty book. He had looked at it when she was out one day, but the language was weird with unfamiliar symbols he had no clue how to decipher.

Her lips moved soundlessly as she read, sometimes flipping the page as if the book had offended her, other times poring over the same passage endlessly, her fingers tracing the words to keep her place.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" She flattened her hand against the page.

"What's your book about?"

She looked up, her brow furrowing then relaxing into a warm smirk. "Oh, it's nothing." She closed it and put it aside. "What about yours?" She nodded towards the book in his hand.

"I don't know. I'm not even reading it." He stared at her, angry that they were having this perfectly normal conversation, despite nothing here being even a bit normal. Everything here was confusing and she was secretive all the time, never giving him enough information to figure it all out.

From what he understood, his mom believed that _Snow White_ and _Prince Charming_ were her parents, which made them His grandparents, but they were barely as old as she was, never mind characters from a _fairy tale_. There was a woman that made his mom sad and Snow quiet and David angry that he couldn't ever see, but no one would tell him why. He had heard her telling Snow about some town in Maine that she had never otherwise mentioned, but where they had all been and _lived_ together, which meant all the things he did remember might not be true at all.

She moved close to him on the sofa and he let her hug him to her side with an arm around his shoulders. She squeezed his arm, gently. "Hey, is everything okay?"

He took a deep breath and met her eyes. "When will I remember, like you?"

"I know this is hard for you, but you just have to believe in me a little longer."

"You didn't answer my question."

She sighed. "I don't know the answer, Henry. I'm working on it."

He thought this over. "But _you_ remember. Can't you just do whatever Killian did to you?"

"I don't think it works like that. It's really, _really_ complicated. I wish I could explain, but I don't know how."

"You could tell me the truth."

She pulled away and lifted his chin so he was looking her straight in the eyes. "I _always_ tell you the truth."

He shrugged out of her arms. "I don't believe you. If this," he stretched his arms out and gestured towards the room, the castle, "is real, then what I remember can't be." He stood abruptly, anger and sadness etched into his features, and threw his book onto the seat beside her. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

She heard laughter overhead. A boy. She could have sworn it was Henry, but she must be dreaming. Another giggle, and then Snow calling, sharply. The laughter stopped abruptly and she heard the voices receding. 

She scratched at her chest, trying to get at the pain. Her skin and muscle did not give way to her heart, though, and she cried out in frustration. No family, no magic, no freedom. 

There were small fingertip sized bruises forming on her chest before she finally gave up and let the sobs overcome her.

* * *

"David, she's dying."

"And why shouldn't we let her die?" He picked up a vest from the bed and slid it over his shoulders. 

"Because if she dies in our holding cells and there was something we could do to prevent it, then we murdered her and I can't," Snow shook her head and clutched her chest, " _live_ with that, even after everything."

"Haven't you been feeding her? If she refuses to eat, I don't know what we can do." He sighed, finally turning to face Snow.

"I haven't told her about Emma and Henry."

"That's probably for the best."

"But I think if she knew they were here, she would have something to live for."

"I don't understand why we haven't put her to death already."

"We will _not_ kill her. She saved me. More than once, according to Emma."

"And what about Emma? Only she and Regina can remember the curse she supposedly cast. Even Emma's son doesn't believe it."

"I believe it. I believe that Emma is our daughter. I feel it every time I look at her. And if she is our age, then something must have happened between the time you put her into the tree and now." She looked at him, sadly, "Charming, she is no threat to us, or to anyone. She doesn't have her magic and, if you saw her... she's changed. I know that's hard to believe, but she has."

He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "Fine!" He held up his hands in surrender and lowered his voice again. "Fine. She can see them."

* * *

At the sound of the metal parting again that day, Regina mustered her strength and drew as much ire as her voice allowed: "Snow, leave me be." 

"Regina?"

She must be hallucinating now. She was sure this was just a symptom of her severe dehydration. _Just a little longer, then._

"Regina, it's me."

_Emma._

She could only hope that her final hours or days were spent with this auditory hallucination. Maybe she would hear Henry soon, too. Yes, what a fine way to go.

She felt a hand on her arm. The touch pulled away as if her skin burned, then settled again, more tentatively, against her wrist. She stared down at the fingers running over her knuckles and back up to her elbow. This hallucination was very real. Emma's hand touched her cheek bone and her hair brushed against Regina's neck as Emma leaned over her to see her face.

"Oh, Regina, what are you doing?" Her hand curled into the hair at Regina's temple. It was dry, brittle, coarse. "My-- Snow told me you haven't been eating much for months and you've been refusing water the last few days."

Regina hummed in agreement, too lost in the feeling of the hand against her skin. Of all the humanity she had missed over the last year, this touch, any touch, was among the most wanted.

"What are you doing here?" She turned, her body stopping against Emma's hip and thigh. The warmth there was unnerving. She'd stop feeling the cold -- or _anything_ if she thought about it long enough -- a while ago.

"Hook came and found us. He brought us here."

"Henry?"

"Is here."

Maybe she had heard him, then. Maybe she hadn't dreamed his laugh.

Emma continued, tucking an arm beneath Regina's waist and another under her neck. "David is with him now. He has grown so much. He's up to my chin!" She frowned. "I need you to drink this water and eat some of this food, Regina. You aren't dying anytime soon."

She lifted gently, pulling Regina towards her until she was sitting up, leaning into Emma's side.

"You're not real."

Emma scoffed. "I am as real as you, probably more so right now." Still holding Regina with one hand, she reached for the goblet Snow brought before. "And Henry is real. He is right upstairs."

"Does he remember?" She looked up, slowly.

"No, not yet. I'm... working on it."

Regina's face fell. 

"No. Absolutely no crying right now. C'mon, Regina, drink." She tilted the goblet to Regina's lips. Her mouth opened slowly and, never breaking eye contact with Emma, gulped down the water. She choked and sputtered around the cup, pulling it from her mouth. The coughs racked her entire body and her sunken eyes turned bright red with the effort.

"That's what happens when you try to inhale it. More?"

Regina nodded, holding Emma's eyes with her own as she leaned for the cup.

"Slow. Slow." Her tone softened, "You'll hurt yourself again."

"Are you really here?"

"Yeah, I'm really here."

"I won't wake up tomorrow to find you were some sort of mirage?"

She smiled and wiped water off Regina's chin. "I certainly hope not."


	4. FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea of where this will end, but I'm not sure how long it will take to get there. This started out as a very short 3 page story that I was sure would just be lost in my documents forever, but, as I edit, I've been adding a lot more. I hope you're enjoying reading as much as I enjoy writing.
> 
> I will try to keep up with regular updates (within every 10 days), but I start back at work tomorrow and things tend to get busy quickly.

After a week of visiting Regina in the dungeons, Emma insisted that they move her to one of the guest rooms. David was initially reluctant and Snow refused to be part of the conversation, but eventually they decided on one of the servant quarters on the other side of the castle, far from Henry and without the possibility of an accidental meeting.

It was the first time in a year that Regina had slept in an actual bed, with a cotton against her skin rather than straw. She was sure she wouldn't leave it for another year, once she had laid down, but Emma was already having a bath prepared for her.

After helping her to the room, David stood at the doorway. "This isn't normally how we treat prisoners, Emma, especially ones who stand charges of murder and treason."

"You don't remember, but she isn't the Evil Queen and hasn't been for a long, long time. Really, we owe her our lives several times over. That must be worth something."

"I hope that you are right. We have trusted her before and she has failed us, so forgive my skepticism."

Emma motioned to Regina across the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, her slight frame propped up against the small table next to the bed. "Plus, right now, she can barely stand. I don't think she is a threat to anyone."

"Hm." He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, shooting a suspicious look at Regina.

A girl, no older than Henry Emma would guess, approached. "Excuse me, your majesty, but the bath is ready." She dried her hands on an apron around her waist and started back towards the next room down the hall. 

David nodded and entered Regina's room, glancing over his shoulder at Emma. "I cannot promise your attendants will be as trusting as your mother and I."

"It's okay. I'll stay with her."

* * *

She is ashamed to be standing naked before David and Emma. Her ribs stick out over a swollen stomach. Her knees look like grapefruit compared to the sickly sticks that are somehow managing her frame. David grips her side with one hand and her legs with the other, slowly lowering her into the steaming tub, as if she were a child.

Regina sighed, displeased, but inwardly grateful. She couldn't imagine stepping into the claw footed tub by herself. 

"Do not get used to this," David murmured as he stepped away from her. Regina wasn't sure if he meant the assistance, the bath itself, or the room that was to become her new home. She assumed he meant all of it. "Emma, we will be in the library." Regina's eyes followed him as he left the room.

Regina turned her attention to the attendants, whose wide-eyed stares bore into her. Clearly, the evil queen had not been forgotten by them, either.

"You are dismissed." She lifted a hand, barely above the water, and waved them out.

"But, Miss..." 

Regina tried to pull herself up further against the back of the tub. "Dear, please do try to remember that you are addressing your _queen._ "

One of the younger women stepped forward, her head bowed low. "No, Miss, I'm sorry, b--"

" _Look at me when you address me so informally, you ins--_ "

"Hey!" Emma's eyes darkened. Regina had almost forgotten that she was there. She looked up at Emma, almost apologetically. "Do you really think _that_ attitude is going to help your case around here?" Emma took several steps towards the attendants and picked up a small stool. Her voice was soft and kind as she told them, "You can go. _I_ am dismissing you."

She set the stool down near the head of the bathtub as the attendants departed, silently.

Regina tried to turn to look at her, confused by the rearrangement of furniture. "You too, Miss Swan."

"I believe my moniker here is Princess Emma. And I'll be staying."

"There is no way I am taking a bath in front of you." She crossed her arms over her chest and sunk further into the steaming water.

Emma sat, putting her close enough for Regina to feel her breath on her ear. "You already are," she whispered, as if it were a secret. Emma pulled away and grinned. "Lean forward, please."

Before she could even process the command, she felt Emma's fingers running through her hair, wrapping the long strands around her hand and letting them fall again. She combed her fingers through again, starting at Regina's scalp, and pulling gently until they reached the ends. She could feel Emma pull away.

"What are you doing now?"

Emma was now walking around the room, clearly in a search.

"I'm looking for a cup or something."

"What for?"

"I'm going to wash your hair," she said it as if it were commonplace, for her to wash Regina's hair, as if Regina should have known. "A-ha!" She held a small wooden bowl up over her head, victorious. She grinned at Regina, who rolled her eyes.

"I'm perfectly capable..."

"Fine." She dropped the bowl into the opposite end of the tub. "Prove it." Regina looked up at her. "Take your time." Emma folded her arms over her chest, but smiled softly.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You gave me a gift, Regina." She uncrossed her arms. "You gave me a life with Henry that I never knew I wanted until I met you." Emma retrieved the bowl from the end of the tub and went back to the stool at Regina's head. "You... Well, you have been alone. I don't know what I would have done in your place." She dipped the bowl into the bath water and gently, with a hand on Regina's back pushed her forward. 

"I don't want your pity."

"Good, I wasn't offering it." With a hand on her forehead, Emma tilted Regina's head back towards her. Her hand smoothed several stray pieces of hair back over her head. "I'm here because I can't do this alone, Regina. Raise Henry."

"Seems like you've been doing fine thus far."

"That was a year in New York, my world. This is yours." Emma tipped the bowl over her hair. "Besides, we've always been better together."

Regina relaxed as Emma began running soapy fingers through her hair. "Yes, _Princess Emma,_ " she murmured, her eyes closing. "I suppose we have."

* * *

Regina's recovery was slow and painful. It was difficult to train her body to accept the food she gave it. Snow no longer came to see her, but Emma was with her daily. She filled the hours with stories of Henry in New York. Regina learned of his friends and his academic accomplishments ("I hope you have a tutor to work with him here," Regina insisted. "And where do I find one of those, _here_? Is there an Enchanted Forest equivalent for Craigslist?") and his activities at the castle. 

"And how are you doing with a spell to make him remember?" Emma lay at the foot of Regina's bed, plucking grapes out of the large bowl settled on Regina's lap. In the last weeks, with Emma almost always by her side, they had grown close. Regina would have to admit, if asked, that they were friends, however strange it may be that the evil queen had befriended the savior.

"Can we talk about something else?" Emma shook her head and groaned in frustration. "I can't find anything on the original curse. It just doesn't make sense... You already paid the price in casting it. In destroying it, you shouldn't have to pay again."

"Maybe not, but we did."

"What do you think would happen if you saw him?" She turned her head so she was looking up at Regina. She took the bowl and put it off to the side, so she could see Regina's face.

"I'm afraid to find out." She shuddered at the thought.

Emma placed a hand on Regina's knee. "Your price was to give up the thing you loved most. Didn't you do that? Not only did you give up Henry but you gave up this vendetta against my mother. That has to have some redemptive..." She gestured with her free hand, "you know, whatever. I'm trying to say, it must mean something."

"As eloquent as ever, Miss Swan," she teased, smiling.

She squeezed her knee and pulled away, taking and gently tossing one of the grapes in Regina's direction. Regina caught it easily, with a smirk. "Don't be an ass."

* * *

"I found Henry a tutor. The cook knew someone." She stopped short, seeing Regina naked before her, and dropped the books in her arms. "Oh, I'm... I'll..."

Regina sighed. "Oh, _Please._ You've seen me a dozen times in the bath."

"But there's water," she blustered, shielding her eyes, "covering all the... Well, _those_." She pointed, the direction about a foot to the left of Regina, and drew a circle in the air.

Regina rolled her eyes, but found herself smiling. After a second of shuffling, Emma heard, "I'm dressed, dear. You can stop acting like a child." Regina bent down and picked up the books from the floor. " _Curses and Counter-curses_ , _The Price of Magic_ , and..." She flipped the last book over to read the title, " _Dark Magic_? Do you not find these to be a little on the nose?"

"Isn't that what we're looking for?"

"Emma," her eyes softened, "these aren't real reference books. They're more like... Wikipedia entries."

Emma blushed. "I didn't know."

"I appreciate the thought." She placed the books on a small table near the door. "I think it best we focus on potions anyway. That's what made you remember."

* * *

Regina watched Henry using a handheld mirror that she held to the window. She didn't dare look at him directly, even through the glass, nor did she want to chance him catching her eyes if he happened to look up.

It didn't really matter. He never looked up.

She watched him learn to ride a horse. It reminded her of teaching him how to ride a bike. David held him by the waist as the horse walked in a circle. Then, David held the reins and jogged beside as Henry trotted. She could hear his laughter and his exclamations of joy. He was strong and patient. He never fell off and never seemed frightened. He had good control of the reins, but wasn't overly forceful. How she wished she could ride with him.

Watching him, she wondered if, even though he didn't remember her, he could feel that she loved him. She certainly hoped so.

* * *

Emma brought her more books, filled with potions and magic. When Emma left each evening, she would pore over every word, trying to determine if the potions were feasible. She jotted notes in the margin with pieces of charred wood from the fireplace.

While her efforts seemed frivolous, it passed the time. She had found that, while her surroundings were better, and Emma was a vast improvement on her previous companion, she was still in a cell and without her freedom.

* * *

Emma entered her room like a gust of wind. It was late, long past nightfall, and Regina was in a chair by the fire, writing in the back of one of the potion books.

"Regina!"

She stood immediately, frightened by the desperation in Emma's voice, the book falling from her lap. "What is it? Is Henry okay?"

"He's sick. He has a fever and I don't know what to do."

Regina studied her face. Her hair was messy and her skin was pallid but sweaty. Her eyes were wide with fear and rimmed in red.

"I gave you memories about..."

"It's different. I had Tylenol and cartoons. I don't know how to take care of him here."

She took the few steps that separated them and took Emma's hands in hers. "Have the attendants run a cool bath, not cold, just cool. When the water gets warm, have them change it. And just sit with him." 

"He's crying..."

"Just be with him, Emma. Kids get fevers. He'll be okay."

She pulled Regina into a tight hug, momentarily taking her breath away. "I wish you could be with us right now."

"Me too."

* * *

Emma was pacing, back and forth, across the cool tile. Snow was holding Henry's hand. He had finally settled down and had stopped crying. Whenever Emma pressed her lips to his forehead to test his temperature, he still felt as if he was burning, but Snow promised that he was cooler than before.

His eyes were closed, his head propped against the edge of the tub. Emma paused in her path and pushed sweaty bangs away from his face.

"Whenever I was sick, my mother would tell me a story. Would you like me to tell you a story, Henry?"

He nodded and opened his eyes, looking straight at Snow. She smiled.

Emma sat down on a stool across from her mother. Snow started, "Once upon a time, there was a young princess." Emma wrung out a washcloth and placed it over Henry's forehead and eyes. "This princess loved to ride horses. Everyday, she went to the stables and brushed and dressed her favorite horse, Rocinante. She would spend hours riding him, all across the land."

Emma raised her eyes and wondered how her grandmother could have known a story about Regina if they had never met.

 _Oh, this is Regina's story,_ she chastised herself.

"The young princess took lessons from Daniel, the stable hand. They spent all their time together and were soon in love. The stable hand even proposed to the young princess. She said yes and they made a secret pact to run away and elope."

"Why? Why couldn't they just get married?" Henry murmured. 

"Well, the young girl had an evil mother. Her mother only wanted the young girl to marry a prince and become queen. The evil mother didn't know about Daniel, so the princess and Daniel decided to run away so they could be together.

"They made plans and they continued to meet in secret at the stables. Their love only blossomed.

"One day, though, everything changed. Another young girl, another princess, named..." Snow paused. "Mary came riding through Daniel and the princess's clandestine meeting on a runaway steed." Emma narrowed her eyes. _Mary?_

"The young princess jumped on Rocinante and rode after her, easily pulling Mary to safety. Mary was so happy and so thankful, she immediately went home to tell her father of the girl who saved her.

"Now, Mary's father, King Leopold, was looking for a wife. His had died several years earlier, and he was lonely and he wanted a mother for Mary. When Mary told him of the young, heroic, beautiful princess, he had to meet her.

"So they went to the castle of the princess and her evil mother--"

"Was the princess's mother the evil queen?" Henry's voice was stronger and he had regained some of his color. Emma smoothed the wet wash cloth over his forehead and hair as he talked.

"No, the princess's mother was never a real queen. Her husband was a prince, but he would never become a king, himself."

"Oh." Emma leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. "Mom! I'm listening to the story."

She smiled. He definitely felt cooler and seemed like he was feeling a bit better. "I'm sorry," she smiled.

"King Leopold and Mary went to the castle of the princess. Upon seeing the princess, King Leopold fell instantly in love. He thought this girl would make an excellent mother to Mary. So he proposed."

"But what about Daniel?"

"I'm getting there. Patience, young man." Snow sat up in her chair and continued, "The young princess was torn. She was in love with Daniel, but, if she married Leopold, she could be queen, and please her mother. She stood there, shocked. The princess's mother was overjoyed with the king's proposal, but furious that her daughter wasn't responding, and she jumped in and accepted the proposal for the princess before the princess said anything."

"She had to marry the king even though she didn't love him?"

"That's what her mother wanted. The young princess ran out and directly to the stables to see Daniel. She told him everything, about the king and his proposal, how her mother had said yes, even though she didn't want it, and how she was expected to marry him. She insisted they run away that night."

Emma wondered how much of this story was true. She had never heard of Daniel: Regina had never spoken of him and he wasn't in the storybook.

"Daniel agreed and they started to get ready. The young princess gathered supplies and Daniel prepared the horses. They were just about to leave when Mary walked in and saw them kissing.

"She was shocked! The princess was supposed to marry her father, how could she kiss someone else? The princess explained that this was her true love and Mary was told never to tell anyone, especially her mother, about Daniel. Mary promised," Snow rose her eyes to meet Emma's. "And she never told their secret for as long as she lived."

Snow cleared her throat and looked back down to Henry. "That night, under the cover of darkness, Daniel and the young princess ran away. The evil queen was furious and searched high and low for them, all over the land, but they were never found. They escape and they lived happily ever after."

Henry sighed. "Is that the end? It's kind of boring. Where are the dragons? And why didn't the princess marry the king and Daniel save her? That would have been more interesting."

"Because that's not what happened."

Henry folded his arms over his chest. "That was a true story?"

"More or less," Snow shrugged. "You seem like you're feeling a bit better."

"I guess." He looked up at Emma. "Can I go to bed now? I'm tired." Emma kissed his forehead again. He certainly felt significantly cooler.

"I think your fever broke. Are you sure you're feeling better?" 

"Yes, mom. I'm just tired." He yawned, possibly for effect. Emma smiled.

She helped him stand and wrapped a sheet around him. "Do you want me to tuck you in?"

"No, I think I'm okay." He hugged her. "Goodnight. Goodnight, Snow. Thanks for the story."

Emma stared at Snow. 

She shrugged and gestured for an attendant to help drain the bath. "If you're going to spend this much time with Regina, I thought you should know."

* * *

Emma tossed and turned in the bed. She had known all about the Evil Queen from Henry's storybook, how she had married Leopold and later killed him, before setting out to kill Snow. The storybook had left out the backstory and she assumed that, even Snow's modified version, had not told her everything. Obviously, Regina and Daniel hadn't run off together and lived happily ever after and, at some point, Regina had married Leopold, probably by force. What had happened to Daniel? How had Snow been involved?

Realizing she wasn't going to get any sleep, she climbed out of bed and snuck down the long, dark hallways to Regina's room. She had been there so many times that she knew every step, every turn even without a candle to guide her in the darkness. 

She didn't bother knocking and, instead, quietly entered. Without introduction, she slid under the blankets and pressed herself to Regina's back.

"What are you doing?" Regina asked, sleepily. It should have unnerved Emma that she accepted a strange presence in her bed without alarm. "Is Henry okay?"

She held Regina closer, her forehead pressed against the nape of her neck. "He's better. I did what you said and his fever went down." She breathed the words against Regina's skin. 

"Good." Regina turned in her arms to face her. Much to Emma's surprise, she still hadn't pulled away. Neither was sure when this level of intimacy became acceptable, but neither was interested in ending this moment.

Emma stared at her, thinking of Snow's story and what must have actually happened. She wished she could have known Regina then, young, in love, unafraid. "I'm sorry," she finally blurted out. 

Regina's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "For what?" 

"For Daniel."

Emma could feel her stop breathing for a moment. Regina couldn't be sure where Emma had learned that name, though she assumed Snow had told her, nor could she be sure what version of the truth Emma had heard. She looked away, then finally sighed and looked back at Emma. "It was many, many years ago." 

Emma pulled her impossibly closer, until their bodies were flush and she could feel Regina's heart thumping against her own chest. "I'm still sorry."

"Me too."


	5. FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? Yes, it's happening.
> 
> This one took on a life of its own. These last few chapters have been all Emma/Regina. I hope you all don't mind...

The next morning, Emma was gone before she woke.

* * *

After ten days, Regina grew impatient. Her room felt smaller than ever, more a coffin than the tiny bedroom of a servant. Henry hadn't been outside, though there was a late spring snow, and even the snow felt claustrophobic, clinging to the trees and piled high in the fields and on the roads.

At night, the stars numbered so many, she felt the sky was closing in on her.

She paced, back and forth, until she worried she would wear a rut into the floor. And then she sat and stared at the crackling fire.

* * *

Emma didn't come to see her for two weeks.

When she knocked at the door, two knocks instead of the one the servant girl usually knocked, Regina threw open the door.

She wanted to be angry, but her voice instantly betrayed her sadness, "Where were you?"

Emma moved past her, pulling the door closed. "Snow had the baby. It's a boy."

"Where were you?" She repeated, more quietly, searching Emma's eyes for some apology.

"I had to be with them. There was a problem. Snow almost died."

"Are they okay?" She shocked herself, the words falling from her lips before she could stop them.

If Emma was as surprised as her by her question, she didn't let it show. "Yes, now. Snow's recovering and the baby looks just like Hen..." She gives Regina a small smile. "I'm sorry I didn't come."

"I..." _missed you_ , she bites back. She'd given too much already today, been too honest. "I was worried that Henry's fever..."

"Oh, shit." She moved closer to Regina. Her hands went to Regina's forearms, clasping her gently. Regina shrugged out of her hold and Emma dropped her hands to her sides. "No, no, he's fine. He's great. He's been helpful."

Emma walked to the fireplace and sat in one of the wooden chairs there, leaving Regina standing in the middle of the room.

"What's his name?" She asked, moving to join Emma by the fire.

Emma looked down at the floor. "Leo. Leopold, but we call him Leo." She could practically feel Regina bristle at the mention of the king. Regina assumed that they would name him such, if it were a boy, but even prepared, it bothered her.

"How have you been?"

Regina glared at her.

"You look better. Your color is better," Emma tried. "You're starting to look like yourself again. Healthy." Emma shook her head and Regina could swear she heard her murmur to herself, _Shut up. Stop talking._

Regina folded her hands in her lap. She wanted to ask Emma about that night, what drove her to come, why she had held her, what it all meant, but she didn't want to hear Emma's regret. That night, she had felt so close to Emma, now she felt that Emma was miles away.

* * *

Every time that Emma came to see her now, they studied potions. Emma reviewed the notes Regina made. They didn't talk about the baby and Emma talked less about Henry, now that the majority of his time was spent with Leo.

She did tell Regina about his lessons and the new tutor. As expected, Henry's favorite topic was history. He found the history of the Enchanted Forest fascinating and would frequently tell Emma stories that sounded like they were from some fantasy novel, with dragons and knights and ogre wars that had torn the countryside apart.

Regina was impressed that Henry was interested in learning the native languages of the minorities, like the dwarves and fairies. She assured Emma that such education would serve him well if he were to eventually be king.

They mostly sat in a comfortable silence, reading. Occasionally, Emma would ask a question that Regina would answer, but otherwise they just existed with each other and that was enough.

* * *

They found several potions they were willing to try. They were missing ingredients and Regina didn't seem to be able to create anything more than a unappetizing slaw of raw ingredients.

Regina knocked the glass off the small table, tears of frustration filling her eyes and voice, "I don't have my magic, Emma!" The fourth batch of this particular recipe yielded a hairy stew that was now puddling on the stone floor at their feet. She murmured, "I don't think I can do this."

For the first time in close to a month, she didn't move away when Emma molded herself against Regina's back and held her close.

* * *

That night, Emma had gone to bed with her. They lay holding each other in the darkness. Regina buried her face into Emma's shoulder and cried for the son who would never know her. Emma stroked her hair and whispered _it's okay_ and _we'll find a way_ over and over again.

Just as Emma had started to fall asleep, Regina pulled back to look Emma in the eyes. Even in the dark, Emma could see the weariness, the despair etched in her features. She could feel the torment in every fiber of Regina's being.

When Regina didn't say anything, Emma breathed, "What is it?"

"Don't leave me again." Emma brushed the tears from her face. "You're all I have left."

* * *

It became a pattern: Emma would come late in the evening, after Henry had gone to sleep. She would bring Regina's dinner. They would research and talk and experiment. After a few hours, they would both climb into Regina's small bed and sleep.

* * *

"I found it!" Emma yelled, pushing open the door. "I have the recipe for the potion!"

The sound startled her. It was morning, way too early for Emma to be here as she had just left mere hours before. Regina, lying on the bed and facing the wall, did not acknowledge her presence. Emma dropped the book at the foot of the bed and lay down next to her.

"Did I wake you?" She whispered, leaning over Regina's stiff form and placing a soft kiss against her shoulder. After weeks of sleeping together, Emma had begun to kiss her: her forehead, her cheeks, her hair. She never tried to do any more, content with just small affectionate, almost platonic brushes against Regina's skin.

Regina shook her head.

Hadn't they been pretending long enough? They had tried - and failed - a half dozen times. This was bound to be another time where Emma got her hopes up, and both were left devastated when the plan was impossible or failed. 

"Regina?" Emma climbed closer to her, trying to view her face. Regina breathed in, filling her lungs, and blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears in her eyes from falling. 

It was all too hard. Trying and failing over and over again. Having Emma so close, but not nearly close enough. Having Henry mere meters away, but never being able to see him or hold him or tell him she loved him.

Today was the day she'd tell her they were done. Today was the day she'd ask Emma to stop coming to see her. Today, she was giving up.

She turned over onto her back to find Emma staring down at her with a smile. "Did you hear me? I found _it_. I know it this time."

"Emma," she started, trying to push herself into a sitting position. "I--"

"What's wrong? I thought you would be happy. You just make the potion, I get him to drink it, and he'll remember." She grin slowly faded into a frown. "Regina?"

Regina bit her lip to check the anger boiling inside of her. _You just, I just..._ If it had been that simple, it would have been done a long time ago, back when Emma had found a different potion, a different promise of him remembering.

"Where do think we will get the ingredients for this potion? We've used up most of my store of ingredients that you found."

"What about..."

"And I'm not even sure if what remains is good. Maybe that's part of why this hasn't been working..."

"Regina..."

"Further, if you've forgotten, I can't do magic." She held up her hand with the cuff, "So the best that Henry would get is poisoned juice."

Emma took her hand and squeezed it. "Will you let me speak, please?"

Regina rolled her eyes and huffed, but let Emma lower their hands, still joined, against the bedspread.

" _This_ potion doesn't have fancy ingredients. It's herbs from the kitchen and some flowers and roots that Snow assured me grow in the forest nearby."

Regina jerked her hand away and narrowed her eyes. "You told Snow?!"

Emma ignored her and continued, "And, in case you forgot, you have given me a magic lesson or two." Emma flicked her wrist and lit the candle beside the bed. "I'm stronger here and I've been practicing."

Regina watched the candle flicker with the draft through the window. It danced in the wind, but held strong. Emma smiled, proudly, puffing out her chest a little. 

This was the last time. If they didn't get it to work this time, this would be the end. She wouldn't try anymore and both she and Emma would have to accept that Henry wouldn't remember. She thought, as she continued to stare at Emma's flame, she would make a plan to leave. The moment Emma told her that this, too, was unsuccessful, she would sneak out of the castle and find a place in the forest. She could be relatively happy there, she supposed, knowing that she and Emma had done everything they could, that Snow forgave her, and that Henry had a family to love him.

"Okay." She whispered, turning to Emma, "One more try."


	6. SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more tonight?
> 
> Okay, but just a short one.

Regina tried not to be hopeful. 

Emma brought the recipe and spent several days gathering ingredients. When asked directly, she finally admitted to telling Snow about their evenings together, trying to find a cure for Henry's memory. Snow was skeptical, but ultimately supportive, as she, too, was hoping that someday she would remember her two years with her daughter that she'd had taken.

Regina measured twice and followed every direction to the letter. She explained to Emma how it was much like cooking, how "folding" was different from "mixing" and "stirring."

Neither could explain why they believed this to be the _one_ , when there had been a dozen _ones_ before, but it felt different this time, promising.

The end result was a deep, clear, pure blue. It smelled smooth and rich, not unlike a crisp, fresh-picked apple, which only made Emma believe more that this would be the last. 

Regina tried to remain realistic. Odds were, this would be just like before.

Emma made her believe. Emma promised she knew. Emma swore this time was different, they finally got this right and Henry would remember.

The night before she was going to slip it into his milk, she whispered into Regina's hair, her voice full of sleep, "Just believe in me."

* * *

She spiked his milk before he sat down. The potion gave it a slightly blue hue, but Emma didn't think it was too noticeable.

She was getting worried. He had stopped asking about when he would remember. He had stopped asking anything about why they were here and who Regina was. It had been months since they had arrived and she had promised that, if he trusted her, it would be okay.

He seemed to be adjusting fine, but she couldn't expect him to be all right with his current living situation and without an explanation forever. It wasn't everyday that people were relocated to a different realm where things like magic were commonplace and fairy tale characters were real and expected to just take it in stride.

He sat down across from her at breakfast, fresh scrambled eggs filling his plate, and dug in without hesitation.

He was big, a teenager. He was starting to grow a bit of facial hair ( _"Mom, look! I'm getting a beard!" He had pointed to a singular hair on his chin one morning._ ) and his voice had dropped several octaves. He was about her height, maybe taller (she shuddered at the thought) and was growing out of his own clothes at such a rapid pace that David had begun loaning him some of his.

"Mom?" Henry brought her out of her reverie. "Why are you staring at me like that? It's creepy."

"Sorry," she grinned and sipped at the water in front of her. "You don't want your milk this morning?" She barely could suppress her grin.

He swallowed a mouthful of eggs and reached for the glass with a suspicious look at her. "Are you sure you're okay? You're acting weird."

"I'm fine."

He put the glass to his lips. "Okay."

He drank.

And drank.

And drank. 

Emma's grin only grew bigger.

* * *

It didn't work. Henry still didn't remember.

* * *

"There has to be something else, something that we're missing. Maybe it's more than just the potion. I mean, you were never supposed to see him again." She had read over the recipe close to thirty times, Regina guessed. She had already tried to brew her own version, under the assumption that magic was the missing ingredient, but the result had been noxious and they had quickly and unceremoniously disposed of it. 

"Emma, we discussed this." Her voice was cool, disconnected. "I can't keep doing this. It's _killing me_ over and over again."

"So what does that mean?" She dropped the papers with the recipe on to the table, tears already filling her eyes. "What, what do we do?" She choked on the words.

"I can't see you anymore. I can't do _this_ anymore. I can't... just... please?" She bit the inside of her mouth to keep the tears at bay. "Just, you be with him. That's how it was supposed to be."

"What say do I get in all of this?" Emma cried, "I _need_ you." Regina turned away, but Emma pulled her back so they were staring at each other. "Look at me." She paused, searching Regina's eyes, "Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe it's the savior's job not to save them, but to save _you_?"

Regina laughed incredulously. "You believe _you_ are meant to save _me_? Of all the _ludicrous_ notions--"

"Stop trying to hurt me! Stop trying to hurt yourself."

Regina pursed her lips tightly.

Emma stepped closer. "You've paid your penance. You've been forgiven."

"I never _asked_ to be forgiven."

"Then maybe you should."


	7. SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a really, really short one, but this was the best place to leave it, I think.

The night after their fight, Regina opened the door but did not stay to talk to Emma. Emma watched as she got ready for bed, changing into a simple shift and washing her face, hands, and teeth in the bowl of water she left by the fire. 

When she climbed into the bed beside Emma, Emma immediately drew her close. Emma kissed her, softly, her whole body aching for forgiveness and acceptance. Regina lay perfectly still and neither kissed her back nor pulled away as Emma's lips whispered across hers.

As soon as the kiss ended, Regina shifted so she was lying on top of Emma, her elbow pressing into Emma's rib. Emma watched as she licked her lower lip then moved in to kiss the corner of Emma's mouth. Emma's eyes fluttered closed. She gipped Regina's arms, shifting them so every part of her heated skin touched Regina's as they kissed.

After a while, Regina sat back, straddling Emma's waist. Her lips were swollen and red, her face puffy from crying. Emma stroked her hips, down her thighs to her knees, and back up again.

Regina stopped her on her second pass down her leg and pulled one hand against her chest. She held it there with her cuffed hand and Emma could feel her heart beating steadily beneath her fingers.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, though she knew Regina wouldn't be able to answer her.

Regina pushed a strand of hair from Emma's eyes. "Will you do something for me?"

Emma's eyes searched hers. "Anything," she breathed.

Regina stared down at her, clearly tormented. Emma could feel the tension racking her, despite Regina's gentle stroking of the back of her hand with her thumb.

She leaned down and, with a small, sad smile, kissed Emma again. This was not a kiss with promises of a future, but a kiss farewell. Regina's hand held hers tighter to her chest, almost painfully, until they pulled apart.

"Take out my heart."


	8. EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I'm thinking about an epilogue that will be all kinds of fluffy (to counteract the angst that was the rest of this).

"Regina, I can't do that." She scrambled from underneath her, so she was kneeling beside her. She had pulled her hand from Regina's grasp as if being burned by her touch. "You can't ask me to." Emma crossed her arms and folded in on herself.

"It's the only way. You refused to let me die and I can't live like this."

"You won't feel better. _You won't feel anything_." 

"Exactly."

* * *

Villains don't get happy endings.

No matter what Henry had said ( _"You're not a villain, you're my mom."_ ), no matter whether or not she had been forgiven by those she had hurt the most, and no matter if _Evil Queen_ had been given or earned, she was still, undoubtedly, a villain.

* * *

Emma had left, then, without saying anything else and stopped visiting her altogether.

Her heart ached impossibly more.

* * *

Days passed, one blending into the next, turning into weeks and then months.

Regina was resigned to her fate: the cruel torment of solitude, the torture of her family's laughter just out of reach. She no longer looked for Henry when he ventured outside, though could hear him daily, often with Emma. She kept the curtains closed tightly and read for hours on end to fill the passing time.

It was a warm day, the sunlight peeking through the curtains in brilliant strips of light across the stone floor. There was a knock, _two_ knocks.

_Emma._

She crossed the room and opened the door, her book falling from her hands by the bed as she hurried to greet her.

It wasn't Emma, but Snow.

* * *

Snow clasped her hands in front of her so tight, her knuckles were nearly white.

"May I come in, Regina?"

Regina stepped out of the way, a frown on her face. "Does your husband know you are here?"

"Oh, he hasn't mentioned you in ages." A blush filled her cheeks as she realized it sounded like they had forgotten her. "I mean, he has been preoccupied with Leo." She looked away, taking in the small servant's quarters they had given to her. Snow recognized, as Emma had once told her, it really was not much better than the cell she had visited her in.

Regina stayed by the closed door, crossing her arms in front of her. "Why are you here?"

"Before Emma and Henry came here, when she was just a story you told me, I was sure you were just trying to hurt me. It seemed so fantastical, years lived as someone else, _somewhere_ else."

Snow crossed the small room and picked up the book from the floor, putting it on the table next to the bed.

"But when she came here, she was everything you described and more. I knew, in that instant, that everything you said had been true, even if I couldn't remember it."

Regina straightened, lifting her chin. "Again, why are you here?"

"Something happened between you and Emma. She is... different." Snow paused.

"What do you mean?"

"For a month or so, she has been quiet, withdrawn. She doesn't laugh like she used to."

"I have nothing to do with her change in mood. She hasn't been to see me."

Snow's eyes softened. "Hmm. That's what I thought."

Regina shook her head and sighed. "As always, I am glad to see you rejoice in my pain."

"I never wanted to hurt you, Regina." Snow's eyes narrowed and she spoke, impassionatedly, "I loved you. You were my family. And anyway, you were the one with the vendetta."

"Believe me, dear, I do not need to be reminded of my past," she scoffed. 

"Well," Snow looked down at her feet. "Perhaps I can encourage Emma to come see you again. I think it would be good for both of you."

"Why do you care about this?"

"I care about Emma's happiness." Snow paused. "And you, Regina, the kind, caring Regina I always wanted to know, seem to make her happy. So, if you'll allow..."

"I will. She can," Regina stuttered, interrupting. "If she wants."

Snow smiled warmly and touched Regina's hand as she stepped in front of her. "I'll encourage it."

She passed her, towards the door. Regina turned just as she was opening it.

"Snow?"

Snow pivoted on her heel, that smile still on her face. Regina almost bit her tongue and swallowed her words.

Almost. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what it was like to hate Snow White. Instead: "Daniel's death wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have..."

"It wasn't your fault," she repeated. "We were children. I've had a lot of time to think and I... I apologize."

"I told you, I--" Snow stopped, her mouth open in a small 'o'.

"What is it?" Regina shook her. "Snow?"

That's when she heard it, a loud, but muffled shout that caused both of them to turn towards the door. The voice shouted again, a bit more clear.

"What's happening?" Regina frowned, her hands on her hips. Snow just grinned.

Footsteps bounded down the hall. 

Snow reached for Regina's hand, holding it tightly in hers. "Your happy ending."


	9. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who reviewed, gave kudos, or just read! I appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed the ride.

"Mom!"

Regina almost fell over from the force of her son ( _her son!_ ) barreling into her arms. His arms held her tight around her waist, stealing her breath, but she didn't mind. She buried her face into his long, shaggy hair and let out a sob.

Tears were coming, burning trails down her cheeks. She couldn't believe that he was here, that he remembered.

"I love you, Mom."

She hugged him impossibly closer. "H-Henry. I've missed you every moment of every day since I destroyed Pan's curse." She pulled him back to look into his eyes. "I shouldn't have left you."

"No, you had to. You gave up everything, your happy ending, so that I could be safe. It was the only way. It's why I can see you now."

"I... I've been trying to bring back your memory for a year, Henry."

"What did it?" Another voice asked from the door. Regina looked up, eyes red-rimmed and face puffy from crying, to see Emma grinning at them from the doorway. "It must have been something you did..."

Snow caught her eye then, from her spot next to Emma. "I..." It had been so simple, so unbelievably obvious: a simple acknowledgement of misguided vengeance.

"I guess we'll never know." Snow smiled, the hand on Emma's forearm squeezing gently. "I am sure you two would like some time alone. Regina, please join us for dinner tonight. This deserves a celebration."

Regina held Henry to her side, tightly. "I wholeheartedly agree."

* * *

Henry had spent the last four hours regaling her with stories of his year in New York with Emma and, more recently, his time in the Enchanted Forest. He continued, sitting next to her at the long table of the Great Hall. She listened intently, but her eyes never left Emma's, across from her. She had her son, now they would build their family.

* * *

David and Snow, with their memories back, had asked Regina to move into one of the guest rooms. She was allowed to come and go from her room, from the castle, as she pleased. For the first time in years, she had her freedom and her son, which brought a renewed sense of life.

Regina realized now that she had the opportunity to start over with this family. She had hurt all of them for a heart that none of them had taken. With all these years, the time to herself to think, she had realized she only had Cora and herself to blame for her misery.

Now, she would make it up to them. Now, she would ensure their happy ending as well as her own.

* * *

One afternoon, in the garden, she decided to tell Henry and Emma the true story of the Evil Queen. She finds that her anger has mostly dissipated and Daniel's name doesn't stick in her throat quite as much as it used to.

When she finished explaining her past and admitting to her sins, she was surprised that Henry hugged her.

"Snow told me that story once, but she gave it a happy ending." He kissed her forehead. "I think she wishes it had turned out differently as much as you do."

"Thank you, Henry."

"David and I are supposed to go riding. Do you guys want to come?"

Emma smiled at Regina, then looked back up at Henry. "No, kid. We'll go with you next time."

"Okay, then." He grinned. "I love you, Mom, Ma. See you later!"

They waved him off. Regina turned to Emma. It was the first time since Henry had gotten back his memories that the two of them had been alone. 

"Regina, about--"

Regina waved her hand dismissively, cutting her off. "I just thought it was time. I did many bad things, Emma, and I thought I was justified. It took a long time to realize how wrong I've been." She paused. "I can't go back, and I honestly don't know if I would change anything, because, if I did, I wouldn't have Henry. Or you."

"Did you kiss me that night so that I would take your heart?"

"No." Regina stood, walked the short distance to where Emma was sitting in the grass, and kneeled in front of her. She ran the pad of her thumb over Emma's cheek. "I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you."

"Oh," she whispered.

"I'm sorry you ever thought otherwise."

"What happens now?"

Regina shook her head, smiling softly. "When we first got back, when Snow and David first locked me up, I tried to explain about you and Storybrooke. Then, Snow would come and ask me about you. She asked if you knew that she loved you." Regina paused. "I wonder the same thing."

"You wonder if I know that Snow loves me?"

"No," Regina took a deep breath, forcing her eyes to hold Emma's. "I wonder if you know that _I_ love you."

Emma smiled. Slowly, she moved towards her, like a cat stalking its prey. She cupped Regina's face and pressed her lips against Regina's forehead. Regina's eyes fluttered closed and she felt Emma's breath on her skin, moving to lay kisses on her cheeks, the end of her nose, the corner of her mouth. "We _have_ always been better together," Emma whispered into her mouth, a final kiss being drawn on her lips.

She felt it then: a lightness, a weight lifted from her dark soul. _This_ was a the beginning of her happiness, all she ever wanted: to have a family, to be loved. Regina pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. 

"Yes, Emma, we have."


End file.
